My Future Self

Thursday, December 31, 2015

I'm ready for 2016! I will not allow myself to become a sad spinster this year! I wonder what that means. I'm going to have to take a hard look at my life. I don't want to end up as a tragic character. I will turn my life around! I'm ready!

One More Time, One More Chance

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

If I lose any more than this, will my heart be forgiven
How much pain before I can see you again
One more time, please don't change the season
One more time to the time when we fool around

When our path cross each other, I am always the first to turn
Making me indulge more in my selfish way
One more chance tripped by memories
One more chance we cannot choose our next place

I am always searching somewhere for you
Opposite of the house, the other side of the alley's window
Even though I know you won't be here
If my wish is to be granted, please bring me to you right now
Betting and embracing everything
To show you there's nothing else I can do

Anybody should be fine if it was just to ease loneliness
Because the stars in the night sky seems like falling, I cant lie to myself
One more time, please dont' change the season
One more time to the time when we fool around

I am always searching somewhere for you
Even at the intersection and dream
Even though I know you won't be here
If miracle was to happen, I want to show it to you right now
A new morning, myself
and the "I love you" which I couldn't say

Summer's memory is revolving
The sudden disappearance of heart beat

I am always searching somewhere for you
At dawn's town, At Sakuragi street
Even though I know you won't come here
If my wish is to be granted, please bring me to you right now
Betting and embracing everything
To show you there's nothing else I can do

I am always searching somewhere for your fragment
At the destination's shop, At the corner of the newspaper
Even though I know you won't be there
If miracle was to happen, I want to show it to you right now
A new morning, myself
And the "I love you" which I couldn't say

I always end up looking somewhere for your smile
At the railway crossing of the fast pace town
Even though I know you won't be here
If life can be repeated, I'll go to you many times over
There's nothing else that I want
Nothing else is more important than you

I'm Every Woman

Sunday, December 27, 2015

I have to find my motivation again. I can only count on myself and this song to push me! I have to stop making excuses. It's almost 2016. Wake up call!

Walking In The Air

Friday, December 25, 2015

Walking in the air,
Floating in the sky...
Floating in the air...

We're walking in the air
We're floating in the moonlit sky
The people far below are sleeping as we fly

We're holding very tight
I'm riding in the midnight blue
I'm finding I can fly so high above with you

Far across the world
The villages go by like dreams
The rivers and the hills
The forests and the streams

Children gaze open mouthed taken by surprise
Nobody down below believes their eyes

We're surfing in the air
We're swimming in the frozen sky
We're drifting over icy mountains floating by

Suddenly swooping low on an ocean deep
Rising up a mighty monster from its sleep

We're walking in the air
We're dancing in the midnight sky
And everyone who sees us greets us as we fly


Sunday, December 20, 2015

"Have you ever had one of those days where nothing monumental happens and by the end of it, you have no idea who you are anymore or what the hell you're with doing your life?"

It's never too late

Saturday, December 12, 2015

“I was a late bloomer. But anyone who blooms at all, ever, is very lucky.” ― Susan Olds

Ira Glass on Storytelling

Monday, November 2, 2015

Thank you Ira Glass. I need this as a daily remember. I have to remember to keep persevering, learning, educating myself, cultivating my creativity, honing my potential, because good work takes time to create. #MondayMotivation


Saturday, October 24, 2015

Your Age

"As you are not experienced in the things of the world, all the things that have some difficulty will seem impossible. Trust in time, which will offer sweet solutions to many sour difficulties."  Don Quixote

Birthdays are usually a cause for celebration. When you hear the word "birthday", you immediately cheer and squeal for that person. I never felt compelled to celebrate throughout the week, but I know some people are very serious about their birthdays. It's not because I have an aversion to aging, I just never thought it's a special thing, since everyone has a birthday. But this year I felt different. This year is when things really changed for me. I've been seeing the world through a new lens: a lens of gratitude for my existence. 

I've always been a grateful person, but it wasn't as acutely aware as it is now. Every second of the day, I see things that remind me that I am alive and I need to take life seriously. It can get exhausting to live in constant gratitude, because that gratitude evolves into fear. Because life is short. Fear of life, death, uncertainty, pain, loss, suffering, etc. Now I need to balance this level of awareness with lighthearted joys and pleasures of life. When I'm aware of this feeling of gratitude, I question everything in life. I guess that's why I'm on a quest to search for #whyislifeworthliving. 

I'm aware of the horrors in the world. I'm aware of the pain and suffering that is happening around us, but that's a reminder to me that I need to live life as a kind and giving human being. Sometimes we forget that we're on this planet with other people. We become selfish and self involved and I don't want to be that person. I don't want drama in my life, I don't want conflict or hatred or negativity, because I don't want to put any negative energy into the world. I just want to give back positivity and optimism; that is my number one priority in life.

Now why is life worth living? Because this is my chance. I don't know how or why I'm here, but I acknowledge that I am a privileged human being. Life is a privilege. I just want to be healthy, happy and safe and I wish that upon others, friends and strangers. We're all here together. How do we make life worthwhile? Let's start with treating each other with a little more kindness, acceptance, compassion and understanding. Smile and acknowledge each other's similarities and differences. We're all alive. We're all human. We live on this beautiful planet Earth in the middle of our Solar System, in a dot in this grand universe. How are we here? How can we live inspiring and fulfilling lives? How do we make it count?

This year, I've learned to really accept myself for who I am. Admittedly, I'm still struggling to find my place and my voice in the world, but I've learned to be proud of myself. Be myself and don't be afraid. I can't focus on my lack of achievements or disappointments in my life. Instead I choose to focus on self improvement and self acceptance. I choose to be a happy human being and help others with their setbacks, because we all have struggles and we should help each other. I choose to be a conscious human being and I want to learn more about this world, things happening in the world, get to know the people around me. I want to learn more about everything, because I care. That's all I want to be in life: a caring human being. 

Now I am year older and I hope I'm a little wiser. I hope to go around the sun again, because I want and need to be part of this beautiful world. I'm so grateful and moved by life and the universe. Thousands of years of human existence and millions of years of stars. We're made of stardust. I am stardust. I am alive. To another 365 days. Thank you. 


You are full of the world.

Friday, October 23, 2015

"The moment you realize that your bones are made of the same dust of the planets. Your lungs are breathing the same air as the migrating butterflies and your blood is pumping because of the love and care of thousands is when you realize that you are not as broken as you think you are. You are full of the world."  Unknown

Thank you universe

Thursday, October 22, 2015

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Wednesday, October 21st, 2015

I am absolutely buzzing from the fantastic news. My visa renewal was finally approved and the moment I found out, I bursted into tears. Tears of joy, ecstasy, sadness, frustration, anxiety. The last few months have been the happiest and most anxiety-ridden days of my life. I experienced all kinds of emotions, it was truly a bumpy ride. But today I confidently say that I belong here. New York and I are meant to be and I have the universe to thank.

I want to thank my friends and the people who have helped me along the way. These last few years have really shaped who I am. Words aren't enough to express my feelings of gratitude to you. I am beyond happy and I just wanted to share this good news with you.

Am I dreaming? I hope not, because this feels so right. Thank you universe. ∞

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The Future

Wednesday, October 21, 2015


Prologue: Saturday, October 26, 1985

Doc Brown: Marty! You've gotta come back with me!

Marty: Where?

Doc Brown: Back to the future.

Doc opens a trash can.

Marty: Whoa, wait a minute, what are you doing, Doc?

Doc Brown: I need fuel. Quick. Go ahead, quick. Get in the car!

Marty: No, no, no, no, no, no, Doc. I just got here, Jennifer just got here, we're gonna take the new truck for a spin.

Doc Brown: Well, bring her along. This concerns her too.

Marty: Whoa, wait a minute, Doc. What are you talking about? What happens to us in the future? What, do we become assholes or something?

Doc Brown: No, no, no, no, no, Marty. Both you and Jennifer turn out fine. It's your kids, Marty. Something gotta be done about your kids!

Marty: Hey, Doc, you better back up, we don't have enough road to get up to 88.

Doc Brown: Roads? Where we're going, we don't need... roads.

Today is October 21st, 2015 and we're here. We made it to the future.

The years shall run like rabbits

Sunday, October 18, 2015

As I walked out one evening,
   Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
   Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
   I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
   "Love has no ending.
"I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
   Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
   And the salmon sing in the street,

"I'll love you till the ocean
   Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
   Like geese about the sky.

"The years shall run like rabbits,
   For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
   And the first love of the world."

But all the clocks in the city
   Began to whirr and chime:
"O let not Time deceive you,
   You cannot conquer Time.

"In the burrows of the Nightmare
   Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
   And coughs when you would kiss.

"In headaches and in worry
   Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
   To-morrow or to-day.

"Into many a green valley
   Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
   And the diver's brilliant bow.

"O plunge your hands in water,
   Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
   And wonder what you've missed.

"The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
   The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
   A lane to the land of the dead.

"Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
   And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
   And Jill goes down on her back.

"O look, look in the mirror?
   O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
   Although you cannot bless.

"O stand, stand at the window
   As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
   With your crooked heart."

It was late, late in the evening,
   The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
   And the deep river ran on. 

As I Walked Out One Evening by W.H. Auden


Thursday, October 15, 2015


"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." – Epictetus

The universe is stirring up something, but it's good. It feels right. There's magic brewing in the pot. I feel the electricity in the air. Feeling grateful. Being positive. Staying optimistic. There is hope.

The Moon Song

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

I'm lying on the moon
My dear, I'll be there soon
It's a quiet and starry place
Time's we're swallowed up
In space we're here a million miles away

There's things I wish I knew
There's no thing I'd keep from you
It's a dark and shiny place
But with you my dear
I'm safe and we're a million miles away

We're lying on the moon
It's a perfect afternoon
Your shadow follows me all day
Making sure that I'm
Okay and we're a million miles away

Motivation Monday

Monday, October 12, 2015

"Tell me how you're feeling!"

"Fantastic! Terrific! Great! Oh yeah! Strong! Deuce! Baby! Sucker! I feel wonderful! Right on! Right on! Right on! Deuce! Deuce! Deuce! Deuce! DEUCE! Oh wha wha! I feel great! I feel great! Oh wha wha! Let's kick some ass! Kick some ass! Who's number one? We are? Who's number two? Who cares?!"

I'm not sure when was the first time Chris Pratt shared his coupon salesman story, but he has told this story multiple times. Nevertheless, I enjoy kick-ass morning chant! Be motivated. Stay focused. Don't get tired. Enjoy the hustle. Don't give up. Never quit. Go go go!!! #MotivationMonday


Thursday, October 8, 2015

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas


Tuesday, October 6, 2015

"I cry very easily. It can be a movie, a phone conversation, a sunset - tears are words waiting to be written." ― Paulo Coelho

I'm a writer. I love words and language. I love the nuances of words. I love the concept of constructing sentences to convey a message, an idea, a thought, a tone, an emotion. Words have the ability to mesmerize us. How did language begin and develop over time? How did words eventually evolve into human expression and not just a form of communication. How did humans acquire language at the beginning with no reference?

Languages have evolved and diversified over time. Just compare medieval English to modern English. We have words like 'bae' and 'fleek', which are not technically real words, since they have the red squiggly line underneath to signify they're not real! Language is really just a form of human expression and experience. With the ability to understand language, we experience life in a social context. Since childhood, we learn to develop our cognitive and language skills in preparation of life. Without language, it would be a vastly different experience. We'd be like the cavemen.

When you think about it, what would it be like if you couldn't speak (watch Samantha Morton's performance in Sweet and Lowdown) or read (spoilers alert: watch Kate Winslet in The Reader)? What if you're blind, you would have to learn to experience words through braille. And if you're deaf, you'd experience communication through sign language. Regardless, part of the human experience is to learn to communicate and through communication, language was developed. Etymology is so fascinating.

At one point, I thought about studying linguistics. I had a knack for languages, especially foreign languages. I really enjoyed my liberal arts classes in college. I studied Western Civilization and learned that Cuneiform was the first known form of written language. Cuneiform dates back to 31st century B.C.E to 1st century C.E. It is read from left to right. But then why is Chinese read right to left across the page and up to down? How did people make these decisions?

Then I think about how animals communicate to each other? Can different species of animals understand each other or do they have to be the same species? Do different breeds have different dialects or accents? There are studies of animal communication and just to satisfy my curiosity, I'd have to look into this subject. Apparently, there is a lot of sniffing and smelling involved.

Final thought: How did words eventually become imagery and get translated onto the screen? Through the magic of filmmaking, that's how. I hope you enjoyed my midnight ramblings. I know I enjoyed sharing my random train of thoughts with you.

The Piano Guys

Monday, October 5, 2015

This rendition of the Jurassic Park theme brings me to tears. Of all the John Williams' scores, I find the Jurassic Park to be closest to my heart. It makes me feel like I experienced Jurassic Park, like I was there. I think being a child when the film came out definitely enhances the nostalgic quality of the score, yet it has such a timeless quality. The simplicity of the piano and cello really adds something really special to the music. I'm so thankful to have grown up as a child in the '90s, what a great decade.

Credit goes to Caro for introducing them to me on a blissful Saturday night. I just love discovering these amazing talents in all creative fields. I love the absolute delight when you hear, see, watch, feel something that moves you to the core. That's why I have #whyislifeworthliving as an outlet to share them with you. Sometimes songs get overplayed or a movie is over-watched or a painting just doesn't seem to have the same magic anymore, but I find that it's necessary to find new things to inspire you and then go back to those works of art. You'll rediscover the magic. Enjoy the magic.


About Time

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Image Credit: NASA/Hubble Telescope

You can't chase time. You can't make more of it. Cherish time as it happens. Cherish life, because tomorrow may be another day, but today is the day you're living it. Thank you universe, I love you. I had a great day. Hope you did too, wherever you are. It's about time to be grateful to be a part of the universe. Thank you to the memories of Philadelphia, November 2014. They are buried deep in my heart. I will always remember those times.

Image Credit: NASA/Hubble Telescope
Interstellar (2014)
Directed by Christopher Nolan
Music by Hans Zimmer

If This Isn't Nice, I Don't Know What Is.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Allison SabrieDear Allison,

I'm so grateful to make new friends with people I admire. Thank you for your inspiring work. Thank you for reciprocating and wanting to be friends with me. It is such a daunting concept. Just because you admire someone and want to be friends with them doesn't mean they want to with you! I really try and cherish the friends I make, because in this world, you will come across nice people, mean people, horrible people and evil people. It's nice to meet some nice people. Regardless, I try to be nice to everyone, because I think it's my duty to be kind. As a human being, I care about people. I care about family and friends, I even care about strangers on the other side of the world.

I can't help but want to be kind to people, because it's my small way to give back to the universe. Therefore, this quote is very meaningful to me. In fact, Caro introduced this Kurt Vonnegut quote to me when we were watching the sunset over the Hudson River a few months ago. It was truly such a beautiful day. It was also one of the most stunning sunsets I've ever seen with my eyes. The sky was glowing, as the sun peaked through the clouds. It wasn't one of those colorful sunsets, but the lighting was so mesmerizing. I will never forget that moment. Definitely a core memory.

I'm so happy to meet lovely people! I think we share a similar sensibility about art, literature and aesthetics. But we just met, so I'm looking forward to getting to know her through her work and creative projects and endeavors. Please check out her Etsy and Instagram and get ready to be inspired.

And I urge you to please notice when you come across lovely people, in real life or online, to say hi! Because you'd be surprised, people are nice!

Yours Truly,


Limehouse Blues

Thursday, October 1, 2015

I'm absolutely in awe with Dick Hyman and Howard Alden's version of Limehouse Blues arranged and performed respectively for Sweet and Lowdown. Although, some people have criticized Sean Penn's faux guitar playing for being poorly synchronized with the music, but I truly appreciate the effort and months he practiced for the role. Moreover, the scene where Emmet is lowered on a sparkling crescent moon still makes me laugh so hard. What a grand and foolish idea it was! Absolutely hilarious performance from Sean.

This delightful week was filled with gypsy jazz. I think I'm subconsciously getting ready for the Winter Jazzfest Preview Showcase. On Monday, I went to Gansevoort Park Avenue to watch Stephane Wrembel (Midnight in Paris composer), but he wasn't present, his band played his music and other classic gypsy jazz music. Then I re-watched Sweet and Lowdown and fell in love Django Reinhardt all over again and then I went to Bosie Tea Parlor where they played French and gypsy jazz to suit the mood. I'm going to stay in all weekend and watch European films, read and listen to jazz and classical music.

Hurricane weekend with Bergman, Fellini, Coelho, Reinhardt and Mahler.

Farewell To The Forest

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Do we care about our environment? Do we care for the future generations? Do we care if our planet will survive for another million years? Yes, yes, we should care. We should care about our forests. Let's never say farewell to the forests. We must help.

Ad infinitum

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Dear Universe,

#whyislifeworthliving is my love letter to love, life and Woody Allen. A place with the purpose of documenting the adventures of life, love, dreams, hopes. A compendium of life and its mysteries and eccentricities. Life deserves to be recorded, remembered, preserved, appreciated.  This is my effort to keep striving and fighting for my endeavors, beliefs, morals and to give back to this uncanny and extraordinary experience and opportunity we call life. This is my continual desire to live a more conscious and proactive life with a greater purpose. And to persistently and truly harness and fuel my potential. This is my pursuit of happiness. I dedicate my words, ideas and thoughts to the dreamers and optimistic argonauts, who have a thirst for life, knowledge and happiness. This moment is beautiful. We are infinite. ∞

Yours Truly,
Avalonne Hall


Sunday, September 27, 2015

Autumn moonlight--
a worm digs silently
into the chestnut. 
Autumn Moonlight by Matsuo Basho

What a glorious sight it was. The blood moon was glowing. Romantic, mystical, eerie. I wish I could have shared this moment with you. The next supermoon eclipse won’t occur until 2033.

Everyone Says I Love You

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Everyone Says I Love You 2

Funny how life goes. This film knows exactly how I feel about love. Watching this film makes me feel like I grew up in New York City in the '90s, but I didn't. His '90s films really feel like memories to me. I grew up in Hong Kong, but somehow my mind and soul wandered to a different city in a different country. There is something so special about this town. This week, I've been exploring this city and soaking up the last of the summer warmth before autumn descends to winter. Fall is such an exciting time of year, but I'm also not ready for the year to end.

One more month before I'm another year older. What does that mean for me? It means a lot. I want to have the most productive month of my year right now. I have projects, goals, deadlines and I'm going to make it happen for myself. I feel like I have all this creative energy burning within me, ready to show the world that I have something to say. Everyone says I love you? I want to say I love you, universe! And yes, you should tell the ones you love that you love them. 

I'm through with love
I'll never fall again
Said adieu to love
Don't ever call again
For I must have you or no one
And so I'm through with love 
I've locked my heart
I'll keep my feelings there
I've stocked my heart
With icy, frigid air
And I mean to care for no one
Because I'm through with love 
Why did you lead me
To think you could care?
You didn't need me
For you had your share
Of slaves around you 
To hound you and swear
With deep emotion and devotion to you 
Goodbye to spring and all it meant to me
It can never bring the thing that used to be
For I must have you or no one
And so I'm through with love 

Everyone Says I Love You 1
Everyone Says I Love You 3


Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Fall is upon us. When we think of autumn, we think of the leaves starting to change, the cool crisp air and the smell of pumpkin spice and cinnamon (I don't like either scents to be honest). This is actually the moment the Sun appears to cross the celestial equator, heading southward. We know very well what happens on Earth when fall's majesty approaches us. But when you think about it, the earth is spinning and now we're at the moment the Sun rises directly in the east and sets directly in the west, which means we will have an equal amount of daylight. It is officially the #FirstDayOfFall.

"Happy Equinox to all Earthlings," tweeted Neil deGrasse Tyson earlier. Thank you for reminding us that this is our planet and we are responsible for keeping this planet alive and healthy. There is just so much happening in this world, we cannot possibly know about everything. I'm not just talking about current affairs, I also mean so much has happened in the history of this planet, our solar system and universe. There is so much we know, don't know and have yet to know. Isn't that such a haunting feeling? But I want to know and learn from people who do know and I'm going to continue to learn.

I am compelled to learn, write and document everything that inspires me. Dedicating Autumn from Allegro-Adagio Molto by Antonio Vivaldi to celebrate the Autumn Equinox.

nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

                   (after a pause)
            Uh... Did you ever get around to e.e.

                   (wrapping her arms
                   around her chest and
                   looking away from
                   Elliot for a moment)
            Yes, he's just adorable.

Elliot nods.

            They have a very large gay
            clientele, you know, where I get my
            teeth cleaned, and... all the
            hygienists now wear gloves because
            they're afraid of AIDS.

                   (taking a breath)
            Oh, right.

There is another moment of silence.  Elliot stares at Lee,
who continues to look down, her arms around her chest.  The
harpsichord plays on.

            Did you ever get around to the poem
            on page a hundred and twelve?

            Yes, it made me cry
                   (tentatively looking
                   at Elliot)
            It was so beautiful... so romantic.

Lee looks down again; the music plays softly and Elliot
continues to stare at her, thinking.

                         ELLIOT (V.O.)
            I want so badly to kiss her.  Not
            here, you idiot.  You've got to get
            her alone someplace.

As Elliot's thoughts are heard over the scene, Lee glances
around the loft, then begins to walk away.  The camera
follows her as she goes past the nude drawings, which become
the focus of attention as Lee walks offscreen.

                         ELLIOT (V.O.)
            But I've got to proceed cautiously.
            This is a very delicate situation.
            Okay, uh... ask her if you can see
            her for lunch or a drink tomorrow.

Lee walks back onscreen, to the bookshelf behind the drawings.
She takes the e.e. cummings book from the shelf and flips
through it as she walks back to Elliot, who is still leaning
by the stereo, still ruminating.

                         ELLIOT (V.O.)
            And be ready to make light of the
            offer if she's unresponsive.  This
            has to be done very skillfully,
            very diplomatically.

                   (showing Elliot a
                   poem in her book)            
            Did you ever read this one--? 

Elliot leaps up, grabs Lee, and kisses her passionately.
Lee, surprised, pushes him away.

            Elliot!  Don't!

            Lee!  Lee!  Lee, I'm in love with

He kisses Lee again. He clumsily turns around; she humps
against the stereo unit. As Lee pulls away, she smashes
into the turntable. The needle scratches loudly. Lee,
shocked, is gasping. The record, pushed to a different part
of the concerto, now plays a more complicated, faster fugue.

Is it possible that someone could feel so strongly about another without a real reason? Isn't love and attraction completely irrational and illogical sometimes? This scene in Hannah and Her Sisters is so delicate and well-crafted, from the dialogue to the subtle nuances of the actors. The tension builds up as Elliot slowly questions Lee about the e.e. cummings poem. She knows what's coming, but she tries to avoid the subject by awkwardly mentioning AIDS. This is such a Woody Allen sense of humor. But you really have to listen for it, since she mumbles those lines ever so slightly.

The building up of tension is so beautifully done between these characters. You know his longing for her since his first lines in the film "God, she's beautiful." He says it with confidence. But life has a hilarious and twisted sense of humor when you fall in love with your wife's sister. I guess sometimes, maybe people are looking for trouble, when they try to find drama to spice up their own dull lives. This is something that really fascinates me in storytelling. I'm still learning about life. I'll always be a student, never a master. I have to keep studying people to create stories and learn about character motivation. Always fictional, never autobiographical.

Kamasi Washington

Monday, September 21, 2015

"There is no happiness without someone to share it."

Caro shared this rendition of Clair de Lune by Kamasi Washington on a Saturday night at 9:38 p.m. The moment I clicked the link, I thought to myself, "I'm alone listening to Clair de Lune, what a beautiful thing." At 1:01, when the saxophone hits that chord, the tears started to stream down my face. Then I thought, "I'm crying, I'm missing Caro, feeling alone, restless and grateful. All at the same time." I was so emotionally distraught, because I felt all these conflicting emotions. How can I feel so sad and happy at the same time. That moment will forever be a core memory.

There is something about the sound of a saxophone that hits me on every level. His music is truly magical and epic. I'm so moved by these kinds of musicians who want to create such inspiring music. We're hoping to see him at (le) poisson rouge on October 16th! Thank you for your beautiful music. I'm truly in awe.


Clair de Lune

8:32 p.m.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Listening to Chopin at Grand Central Station. Opposite the spot that Chris Evans' character sits in the beginning of the film...

This feels like bliss. I'm alone, but I'm not, because I feel like I'm a part of this crazy adventure called life. I may not lead an exciting and dramatic life, but I feel like my observations on the human condition have led to my rationality and logical approach to life. Instead, I want my characters that I create to have interesting and even dramatic story lines.

At the end of the day, I just want to be content and in constant pursuit of joy, passion and adventure. I hope to have happiness and health. So yeah, I don't need romance. I feel very valid in my existence. I don't think someone will just come into my life and "sweep me off my feet". The universe has better things to do.

I just feel grateful to be here in this moment, this place, this time. Here I am in the heart of New York City. Living, breathing, writing. How can it get any better than this? I am alive. This moment is infinite. The universe has conspired to allow me to be here. Thank you for giving me a chance to live it, breathe it, be a part of it.

If it was 1:30 a.m., there would be less people here and I would be able to experience what the characters in Before We Go did. Sometimes people just find each other. Maybe someday I'll experience that kind of human connection... Maybe never. No rush, universe, no pressure. It's all in the timing.

One more aria. Vissi d'arte. Enjoy this moment.

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond

Saturday, September 19, 2015

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond by e. e. cummings

There is something so magical about the poetry of e.e. cummings. The romanticism, lyricism and playfulness of his words are so charming. I first got exposed to poetry in high school, but never studied Cummings unfortunately. I was mostly enchanted by T.S. Eliot and Dylan Thomas. When I discovered e.e. cummings in Hannah and Her Sisters years ago, I knew his words will change my life forever. If only I understood how to construct poetry properly, I'd make my words dance off the page. I don't dabble in writing poetry, but I like to be inspired by different types of poetry.

I recently got into Chinese poetry and I never knew I'd understand it. Granted, I can't read Chinese all that well, but with the assistance of my godmother who was visiting, she introduced me to a few Chinese poets from the Tang and Song Dynasty. We're talking hundreds and hundreds of years ago, these romantic men were looking up at the moon and writing about her long lost loves. How moving is that? They would write about yearning and desire. These are themes that we all understand. I really hope to learn Chinese and hopefully be able to read these poems.

I know why Elliot gives this poem to Lee in the film. There is so much power and weakness in these words, that you can't help but feel weak in the knees. How can someone love another with all their being? I love his unabashed use of punctuation and wordplay. There is so much depth and layers to his words. I have to unravel the meaning of each line and with every discovery, there is genius behind the craft of every single chosen word.

I may not feel such an intense power and attraction to another human, but I wholly feel immensely in awe of life and its wonders. You don't need romance to appreciate life, just a little gratitude and appreciation is enough for me to know life is worth living.

With every single step I take in life, 
I discover more and more beauty.

Anywhere and everywhere.

Be lonely

Friday, September 18, 2015


“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”

― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Magic Lessons with Elizabeth Gilbert

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Elizabeth Gilbert: "So I wanted to make a podcast where I could take the subject of creativity out into the world and have real conversations with real people about it. And that's where Magic Lessons come from. And what are magic lessons? Road maps for the path to creativity, the extra nudge we need when we're feeling stuck in our creative lives."

I cannot stress how much I am in awe of Elizabeth Gilbert and her body of work. Magic Lessons is her first venture into the podcast world and I'm so hooked. She has such an effervescent personality, wise, calming, genuine and kind-hearted. That's everything I want out of a podcast host who's tackling the the subject of creativity. I watched her TED Talk 'Your Elusive Creative Genius' a while back and I was so completely inspired by her. I need to re-watch it and just watch it once a month as a reminder. Now that she has her own podcast, I know I will continue to be exposed to Elizabeth Gilbert's intelligence and creativity.

I think my 'creative genius' was laying dormant for a few years. I'm in a constant struggle to let my creativity out. Liz mentions that fear is the main reason we procrastinate. Also fear manifests itself as many different emotions. She is absolutely correct on this point. I was plagued with procrastination for the majority of my life. This doesn't mean I never had a creative thought or idea in my mind, but I was so paralyzed by procrastination and ultimately, fear. I was just so stuck with no words. Now that I have kicked procrastination in the butt, I'm ready to let my creative genius out.

In Liz Gilbert's own words, "Pursue your passions like a mofo."

I genuinely feel ready to stop making excuses and be the creative person I deserve to be. I'm ready to work hard, write hard, believe hard and be a passionate mofo. I have so much passion in me. I have a fire burning within me and I'm ready to turn that fire into creative words, photos, ideas, drawings, anything. I refuse to be stuck in life. I'm navigating my way to a creative life.

Thank you for your wisdom, Elizabeth Gilbert. I'm a huge fan. #BigMagic


Wednesday, September 16, 2015

"However long it takes you to reach your summit, just keep walking and don't think about it." ― Roberta Vinci

In life, you need to believe and care. Care for yourself and care for others. Be selfish and be selfless. Find a balance and be a well-rounded human being. We are not perfect. We cannot strive for perfection. Instead, work hard, be nice, try your best, don't give up. That will lead to your success and hopefully, happiness.

I don't know if I'll ever "succeed" in life, but I know I will not give up on myself and my dreams. I am nothing without my dreams and passion. I have the willpower, strength, drive and motivation to push myself to the ends of the universe.

There is no limit. Climb to the highest point, the summit. Climb. Climb. Climb. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Strive. Strive. Strive. Love. Love. Love. This is my mantra.

What are you afraid of?

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." ― Woody Allen

I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of death. My fear of death is paralyzing. It's probably best not to write about death, it's such a morbid subject. This reminds me I need to read The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker. I do have a morbid fascination with death, but it's an unhealthy and dark fascination. I can't help but be interested in the subject, but then I get so terrified by all the ways a human can die. After death, there's nothing. Or maybe there's something. I don't know. No one can possibly know, but I want to believe in reincarnation.

Do you believe in reincarnation? Heaven? Hell? Nothingness? Darkness? Emptiness?

Let's just not obsess about death or after life and focus on life. Focus on living, existing and living the best life you possibly can. Let's make the world a better place. I will focus on that.


Friday, September 11, 2015

14 years later, I have not forgotten and never ever will forget. How can anyone forget? 14 years ago, the world was shattered by a single event that led to millions of broken hearts. Sending condolences to everyone affected. Life can end in an instant, so live life with a real sense of purpose. Live life like you have no excuses for anything. Commit to living life with enthusiasm and passion. Be a kind person. Be a good person. Be a giving person. Be a forgiving person. Love and care with your heart. #NeverForget

Love yourself

Thursday, September 10, 2015

"I'm standing for anyone who has struggled with self-esteem issues like me, because all bodies are valuable. To support self-acceptance, draw a  on my body."  Amy Pence-Brown

Instead of buying a lipstick you think you need, watch this video and think about what self-acceptance means to you. "In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act. Because all bodies are valuable." I think we've all fallen into this trap of we're not good enough, so we need to buy this product or that product to validate our worth and existence. I've definitely fallen into the trap of consumerism and celebrity culture. Blank is the highest paid actress this year according to Forbes. Or how to dress like Blank this fall? Which lipstick color did Blank wear at New York Fashion Week. It's all a little silly.

Growing up I definitely suffered from self-esteem problems. If you don't have emotionally supportive parental figures who don't teach you how to love yourself in a non-egotistical way, you're bound to develop insecurities about yourself and your physical appearance. So I'd say it starts off at a very young age. Hong Kong has the type of culture and mentality, where your elders feel compelled to dole out backhanded compliments or flat out insults about your appearance, weight, hair color and style, clothes, tattoos, etc. Luckily, I wasn't too subjected to that treatment, but I've definitely been on the receiving end of it. I absolutely do not agree with this kind of subtle verbal abuse.

At the end of the day, it made me a stronger person. That's why I'm so in awe of Amy Pence-Brown for doing this social experiment to promote self love and acceptance. Even to this day, I feel like I finally have a somewhat healthy self esteem, but I would never stand in a middle of a crowded place in my underwear and allow people to draw on me while I was blindfolded. That takes a lot of guts and courage. I can be fearless with certain things, but I could never do what she did. She is truly an inspiration and I commend her fearlessness.

The internet will always be plagued with trolls. From reading comments, I've discovered that the video has already been receiving some backlash. I find this absolutely appalling that people could actively but indirectly bully this incredible and courageous woman for supporting self-acceptance.

Who are these people? Are these people a 10? Do they have some complex that makes them think they're better than everyone else? Do they have "perfect" bodies and healthy bank accounts? Do they understand what self-acceptance is? Do they accept themselves? Who do you think you are? 

I'll tell you who you are, you're a coward. You are a hateful coward who should keep your hateful words to yourself. Just refrain yourself from typing. And stop being a coward. Just because the internet allows you to be anonymous, doesn't mean you should spew out ugly, monstrous words, because you are not in any way making the world a better place. These internet trolls need to be sent to an island forever.

Thank you Amy Pence-Brown for your act of self-love. I support your cause, because I think we all need to be a little more positive and spread that energy to make the world a better place. It's never going to change overnight, but if people slowly accept themselves, they may start to accept one another and hopefully, one day, we'll find ourselves on a happy and healthy planet. And then our grandchildren will thank the older generation for paving the way for them.

The Reflektor Tapes

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Trapped in a prison,
in a prism of light.
Alone in the darkness,
a darkness of white.
We fell in love,
alone on a stage,
in the reflective age. 
Entre la nuit, la nuit et l'aurore.
Entre le royaume des vivants et des morts.
[Translation: "Between the night, the night and the dawn. Between the realm of the living and the dead."]

I only recently got into Arcade Fire. I don't know where I was when Neon Bible or Funeral came out. Oh right, I was listening to a different genre of music. So now I'm super into the hypnotic sound and the romantic lyricism of Arcade Fire. I keep playing Reflektor and We Exist on repeat. Repeat and repeat. I love how music can affect me emotionally. I listen to music and I start to imagine visual imagery of a scene or colors and shapes. I wish I was more musically inclined and was able to read sheet music. But I digress.

I listen to a lot of music and all kinds of music. I mostly prefer to listen to classical, jazz, Bossa nova, opera, film scores, oldies and then I'll try to listen to new music. And sometimes I'll latch onto one or two singles and play them on repeat. I have a hard time finding new music, but I don't feel that way about Arcade Fire and I hope to learn more about their journey and philosophy of their music from the documentary. It's amazing to see influential musicians create such emotional and exciting work.

The Reflektor Tapes will have its world premiere at TIFF 2015 on 12 September 2015 and it will get a theatrical release on 24 September 2015.


Sunday, September 6, 2015

Today was like any other day, except it wasn't. She had only slept for four hours and this time, it didn't feel quite right. Her eyes opened to the sound of absolute silence. She was awake an hour before her alarm was due to go off. She laid there with her eyes open, chanting to herself, "I'm alive, thank you, I'm alive. Thank you universe." It felt like any regular day, she felt awake, yet she felt restless and weighted by the lack of sleep. Maybe it was insomnia, maybe it was exhaustion, but something was brewing under the surface. She had yet to know. The future was imminent. Like every day, the future was just in front of her.

She had experienced delirium. She had experienced insomnia. She had experienced exhaustion, but this felt... different. She refocused her attention to other thoughts: joy, happiness, gratitude, positive emotions. How could she not feel happiness or gratitude? She was alive, she could see, hear, speak, she had functioning limbs, a beating heart. She lives here and she was surrounded by beauty, but her mind was preoccupied... with a plague. The fear of death was looming. The fear started to develop, build, and morph into an ugly monster. It was overtaking all her senses. Her physical senses weren't failing her, but the physical body felt like it was shutting down. Stiff neck, lump in the throat, muscle ache, fatigue, migraine, pins and needles.

These symptoms weren't promising. She was paralyzed. How fast does a disease act? How fast does the fear of death consume your mind? It was fast. These symptoms came out of nowhere and suddenly, it was all she could think of. Are these symptoms a sign that her life was about to end. Why was she feeling all these physical symptoms? Are they real? Was she just imagining them? What was happening to her on a cellular level? How was she meant to navigate these thoughts? A million thoughts entered her mind.

Imagining what her next step was to be, she thought to herself, "This could be it. It's about to be over. When will I have my chance to tell you that I love you, I'm proud of you, I want you to be happy and live life to the fullest, because someday you'll be here, where I am right now and you won't want to waste another moment thinking about anything else but gratitude for your life." It was the most calming and chaotic moment of her life. She felt euphoria. She felt like she could release herself and let everything go.

But she wasn't ready to let go. So she fought it. She fought it with all her strength and might to crush this monster. This monstrous power was haunting and forceful, but she had no other choice. She found the strength within herself to put it to rest. How are you meant to fight the fear of death, when death feels like it's pointing right at you, ready to drag you away? She looked at it straight in the eye and said, "I'm not ready. I won't be ready until I have given myself and all of myself back to this universe. You will not take me away."

Slowly, her eyes fluttered open. She found herself in the same place. In the same place, but different. The air was lighter and purer. She could breathe again. There was no lump in her throat, no stiff neck, She felt bliss. She was overcome with tears of joy and sadness. The tears kept flowing copiously. The words of fear and joy kept flowing out of her mouth uncontrollably. "I thought I was going to die. I thought my life was going to end. It was completely irrational, but I thought I was going to die." In response, she was met with a disembodied voice, "You can't go yet. You have a huge list to accomplish and many to inspire to help us make this world more loving and caring."

This voice was right. She knew she trusted this voice with all her heart and being. She thanked the voice. It was the universe speaking to her. She was ready to live.


Monday, August 31, 2015

imagination [ih-maj-uh-ney-shuh n]

1. the faculty of imagining, or of forming mental images or concepts of what is not actually present to the senses.
2. the action or process of forming such images or concepts.
3. the faculty of producing ideal creations consistent with reality, as in literature, as distinct from the power of creating illustrative or decorative imagery.
Compare fancy (def 2).
4. the product of imagining; a conception or mental creation, often a baseless or fanciful one.
5. ability to face and resolve difficulties; resourcefulness: a job that requires imagination.
6. Psychology. the power of reproducing images stored in the memory under the suggestion of associated images (reproductive imagination) or of recombining former experiences in the creation of new images directed at a specific goal or aiding in the solution of problems (creative imagination)
7. (in Kantian epistemology) synthesis of data from the sensory manifold into objects by means of the categories.

RVA All Day

Saturday, August 29, 2015

How and why are these guys so cool? Can I know them in real life please? I'd be so happy to be friends with brass musicians! Watch this video and get ready to fall in love with No BS! Brass Band.

14th Dalai Lama

Friday, August 28, 2015

Dalai Lama

"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."  14th Dalai Lama

The 14th Dalai Lama is the manifestation of kindness, strength, perseverance and wisdom. Thank you for continually inspiring people to be better, kinder, wiser. His teachings should make anyone want to live a better life without self destruction, instead with inner peace, confidence and self respect. He is the symbol of altruism. Be kind. Be a good neighbor. Be a nice human being.

If anyone in this universe has the right answer, it's the Dalai Lama.

10 Questions for the Dalai Lama


Thursday, August 27, 2015

I'm listening to Air, which reminds me of Arlene Shechet's ceramic and glass sculptures about breath: air moving and air frozen in time and space. Breathing keeps us alive. We're alive. We exist. What is existence? How old is the universe? How did the universe begin? We're made of particles, stardust... What are we? What is the meaning of life? Rambling ideas and thoughts. Alone. Together. Life. Death. Love. Memories. Adventures. Explore. Learn. Give back. Be kind. Rewind. Move forward.

I don't want my life to flash by. I don't want 23 years to go by without me really living in the moment, which reminds me of Interstellar and About Time. I want to seize time. I want to hold onto time, because time is precious. It's melting away and I want it back. It's slipping through my fingers. I want to go forward, whilst holding time in the palm of my hand. Balance time. Cherish time. Enjoy time. Infinite time. Don't be scared of time.

These ramblings are my genuine and spontaneous thoughts. I truly wonder and wonder about existence on a metaphysical level, an astronomical level. Relativity. Quantum mechanics. What does this all mean? Microscopic. Subatomic. Particles. Under the surface. Under the microscope. Through the lens of a telescope. What, where are the answers? Above us, in the sky? Below us, underground? Are we just a part of an elaborate dream? Or is this reality? My ramblings seem confused.

Confusion and understanding. Learning from confusion. Understanding the truth of life. When will we learn the truth? Feeling restless. Anxious and eager to understand. To find universal truth of life. To understand the human condition. I can't breathe. Need to slow down my mind. Take a deep breath. Seizing this moment and freezing it in time and space. Breathing. Being. Existing. Existing with a sense of purpose. Love every second before it's over. Don't end.

And in that moment, I swear we were infinite. #whyislifeworthliving

I Have Dreamed Of You So Much

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

I have dreamed of you so much that you are no longer real.
Is there still time for me to reach your breathing body, to kiss your mouth and make
your dear voice come alive again?

I have dreamed of you so much that my arms, grown used to being crossed on my
chest as I hugged your shadow, would perhaps not bend to the shape of your body.
For faced with the real form of what has haunted me and governed me for so many
days and years, I would surely become a shadow. 
O scales of feeling. 
I have dreamed of you so much that surely there is no more time for me to wake up.
I sleep on my feet prey to all the forms of life and love, and you, the only one who
counts for me today, I can no more touch your face and lips than touch the lips and
face of some passerby. 
I have dreamed of you so much, have walked so much, talked so much, slept so much
with your phantom, that perhaps the only thing left for me is to become a phantom
among phantoms, a shadow a hundred times more shadow than the shadow the
moves and goes on moving, brightly, over the sundial of your life. 

I Have Dreamed Of You So Much by Robert Desnos


Monday, August 17, 2015

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” ― Josh Billings

This adorable Vogue video tells the charming story of the best friendship between Amanda Seyfried and Finn. I wish I had a cuddly friend who loves me unconditionally, cares about me and would look at me with those gleaming eyes. I don't know if I'd feed my dog kale though (there are studies that kale is now bad). I'm a little envious of their loving friendship. I wonder if I'll ever get a dog or cat. I already have their names picked out!

"What's your favorite word? Do you believe in reincarnation?"

This video makes me think of my human friendships and how thankful I am to have my friends in my life. I may not see or talk to them every day, but I do think about them. I have my memories to keep me warm at night, or cool now, since it's summer. This week is going to be epic, since I have friends visiting from San Francisco. It will be quite the reunion and I'm so ready for my end of summer adventures in New York City. To friendships, adventures and memories!

Please murmur with me

Saturday, August 15, 2015


"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time."  John Lubbock 

I want to murmur with you. I want to meet new people, learn about the world, hear your story, share your story, be heard, start a dialogue. We all grew up with this notion that we should not talk to strangers, but then how are we meant to meet people? Every day we meet new people at work, the people who serve you at a restaurant, on your daily coffee run, on your online dating app and even on one of those paper ads on a New York lamp post. I don't usually pay attention to those paper ads, they're littered on every other lamp post, you just don't stop to notice them (except for the "Looking for a Girlfriend" ad, that's still pretty funny. Hope he found a girlfriend). But on this very day, I was waiting to cross 4th Avenue and I noticed the word "murmur" and it caught my attention immediately.

Murmur Podcast is run by Uluç, he wants to have a conversation with you. If this interests you, you can contact him here. I find this idea to be such a great way to connect with people. A dialogue can eventually lead you to a friendship. Since friendships in New York can be so transient, people should be more proactive about making friends. I'm making a conscious decision to be more available to my friends, because I care about them and I hope to make new solid friendships along the way.

Life is truly an extraordinary journey. You must live it with a sense of purpose. Ready, set, go!

Midnight in Paris

Thursday, August 13, 2015

"We all fear death and question our place in the universe. The artist's job is not to succumb to despair, but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence." 

I belong in this world, this romantic, dreamy, luminescent city of Paris. I belong in a land of imagination. I want to get lost in thought, without being lost. I want to smell the air and feel the warmth on my skin. I want to feel and hear the pitter patter of the pouring rain. I want to hear the hustle and bustle of the city; the poetic murmur of the people, the whisper of the willow trees. I want to smell the clean, crisp air; the scent of roses and freshly baked pastries. I want to watch the sky turn from a sweet pink into a dark midnight blue. And watch the twinkling lights slowly illuminate the city. Quiet reverie. This is Paris.

I want to spend morning, afternoon, evening and midnight in Paris. Paris, je t'aime.

The Glorious Pursuit of Life

Wednesday, August 12, 2015


"Find life experiences and swallow them whole. Travel. Meet many people. Go down some dead ends and explore dark alleys. Try everything. Exhaust yourself in the glorious pursuit of life."  Lawrence K. Fish

I'm in constant pursuit of happiness. Nothing will stop me from trying to find the meaning of life and trying to make the world a better place. I'm starting small and spreading my positivity and optimism to the people around me. Even if I'm exhausted to the core, I will always want to look at the bright side. I will always smile and keep smiling until the end. I hope my words can bring you a sense of joy and gratitude for your existence. I don't know how or why we're here, but since we are here, let's exist with a sense of purpose. Spread the joy. Keep pursuing life with glory!

Vissi d'arte, vissi d'amore

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Vissi d'arte, vissi d'amore,
non feci mai male ad anima viva!
Con man furtiva
quante miserie conobbi aiutai.

Sempre con fe' sincera
la mia preghiera
ai santi tabernacoli salì.
Sempre con fe' sincera
diedi fiori agli altar.

Nell'ora del dolore
perché, perché, Signore,
perché me ne rimuneri così?

Diedi gioielli della Madonna al manto,
e diedi il canto agli astri, al ciel,
che ne ridean più belli.
Nell'ora del dolore,
perché, perché, Signor,
ah, perché me ne rimuneri così?
I lived for art, I lived for love,
I never harmed a living soul!
With a discreet hand
I relieved all misfortunes I encountered.

Always with sincere faith
my prayer
rose to the holy tabernacles.
Always with sincere faith
I decorated the altars with flowers.

In this hour of grief,
why, why, Lord,
why do you reward me thus?

I donated jewels to the Madonna's mantle,
and offered songs to the stars and heaven,
which thus shone with more beauty.
In this hour of grief,
why, why, Lord,
ah, why do you reward me thus?

On a gloomy day, you just want to listen to music that will perk you up and not let the lack of sun ruin your day. I don't suffer from the slightest of seasonal affective disorder, so a little rain doesn't make me down. I was listening to bossa nova earlier, but I've now switched to opera. What can I say about opera? My dad introduced me to opera and over the years, I've slowly grown to admire the history and craft of opera. I'm absolutely in love with Puccini and his operas. Almost every morning, I will listen to my Opera According to Puccini playlist on Spotify.

As of now, my favorite opera is La Bohème. I have yet to see it live, but I'm determined to see it this Met Opera Season 2015-16. I'm slowly learning the story and libretto, so by the time I see it, I will know exactly what is going on. I'm also really drawn to Tosca, thanks to Niles Crane in Frasier. He had to name his favorite meal, aria and bottle of wine and he claims that Vissi d'arte is his favorite aria. The libretto is so moving, when I listen to the Italian, I now understand the pain and beauty. I'm really in love with opera and I'm looking forward to learning more about opera and meeting other opera aficionados.

The Planets

Sunday, August 9, 2015

"We are part of this universe; we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts, is that the universe is in us." ― Neil deGrasse Tyson

I like to be reminded that we're a very small part of the universe, because it makes life that much more meaningful. We're the result of billions of years of atoms crashing into each other. How romantic is that? My understanding of the Big Bang Theory is still minuscule, but I am positively interested in theoretical physics, astronomy and any branch of science dedicated to learning about the universe. I'm very fascinated by people like Stephen Hawking, Carl Sagan and Neil deGrasse Tyson. I'm constantly trying to learn more about our existence and science has some answers. Philosophers have some answers and theories too. I just wish I could soak up all this knowledge, because I hope it will lead me to the path of happiness.

Over the last years, I've watched Stephen Hawking's The Grand Design, Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey, Particle Fever, The Theory of Everything, The Inexplicable Universe and more. There is just so much to learn about our existence and why and how we've ended up here. For a better breakdown and explanation of how long the universe has been in existence, watch the first episode of Cosmos.

Always questioning #whyislifeworthliving. I hope you are too.

Just Around The Riverbend

Saturday, August 8, 2015

"I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you."

I feel a huge sense of excitement and exhilaration for life. It's more of a nervous excitement, but excitement nonetheless. I just want to run around the streets of New York while singing Just Around The Riverbend. That's exactly how I'm feeling! This is the first of the Disney Renaissance "I Want" songs and it is perfection. I was unsatisfied with my current life, so I'm making changes and searching for and pursuing my dream. I want. I deserve to want. I want to want to want to want. I will achieve what I want.

There is no rush, so enjoy the journey and always keep aiming for just around the riverbend and you'll find what you're looking for.

Avalonne Hall's Day Off

Friday, August 7, 2015

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." ― Ferris Bueller

I find myself always looking up. Looking up for answers, as Neil deGrasse Tyson would say. I've been thinking about my calling in life. I now know, deep in my heart that it is my calling to spread joy and positivity. To make you smile. To make anyone smile. Because life is so beautiful and I don't want you or me or anyone to miss it.

In this case, Ferris is looking down. So looking up and looking down from high above will offer a new perspective. Keep finding and experiencing new things. Take a day off to look around. Take a moment to take a deep breath and just enjoy life.

Cue Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want.

15 Minutes of Fame

Thursday, August 6, 2015

"I think everybody should like everybody." ― Andy Warhol

Happy Birthday Andy Warhol. He would have been 87 today. The world misses you still. He inspired me to take photo booth photos, which is a great way to document my youth and my life. I hope to preserve my life and thoughts. I hope to achieve that here. Everything I create is my attempt to express my appreciation and love for life. He has inspired me so much. He really had a unique view on art and life. That's why I'm so enamored by his body of work. You just can't replicate Andy Warhol. 

"I like boring things."

I wonder if Andy and I would have gotten along. Admiring someone you don't know is such a strange concept. Especially if that person passed away before you were born. He has been quoted to "like boring things". It doesn't look like he led a boring life... at all. I am fascinated by the whole idea of the Silver Factory, but given its time and culture, people were definitely not doing boring things there. Nevertheless, I will focus on the contribution that Andy made to art. I love art.

Monosodium glutamate

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Nothing wrong with MSG! Don't hate on monosodium glutamate.

I'm re-watching The Mind of a Chef now, since season three was just added to Netflix. I can't wait to re-learn and learn more about food. There is so much to learn about food and cooking. Art, science, agriculture, history, technique, etc. I'm so fascinated with all of this and I can't wait to have a better palette and eat all kind of food from all over the world! Don't take food for granted. Enjoy it and appreciate all the work that goes into it.

Sand, sea and the sky

Monday, August 3, 2015


"You don't need to be the tide to rise and fall,
you don't have to be a wave to touch the shore;
just be a little sand-grain and feel them all."
― Munia Khan

Yesterday, I put my feet in the sand and ocean. At first I was afraid. The water looked dirty and I didn't want to get my feet wet. But then I changed my mind, because I was being silly. I walked towards the water and when the tide swept towards my feet, I screamed in joy. It was exhilarating. I felt so much happiness. I have feet. I felt my feet sink into the sand. Slowly sinking. It was such a wonderful sensation. I felt the ocean water on my skin. It felt amazing. I don't know why I was even afraid. I'm alive and I need to experience everything.