You're All Alone

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

"Hi, I'm Ted Mosby. In exactly 45 days from now, you and I are gonna meet and we are gonna fall in love. And we are gonna get married. And we are gonna have two kids. And we are gonna love them and each other so much. All that is 45 days away. But I'm here now, I guess because I want those extra 45 days with you. I want each one of them. Look, if I can't have them, I'll take the 45 seconds before your boyfriend shows up before he punches me in the face. Because I love you. I'm always gonna love you, till the end of my days and beyond. You'll see."

It's nights like these when I feel acutely aware of my solitude. The fresh cold air hit my face as I walked down a tree-lined street at midnight. I was listening to the How I Met Your Mother playlist on Spotify, when You're All Alone by John Swihart came on. This piano piece truly conveys such melancholy and hope at the same time. It makes me heart swell and break. Of course, there's the association of Ted Mosby making this gut-wrenchingly beautiful and powerful speech to his future wife in the The Time Travelers episode. Solid performance and writing from Josh Radnor and Carter Bays and Craig David respectively.

If I'm going to be honest, I'm happy with my solitude. Although... there are days I can't help but feel a slight void in my life. That's why I try to fill that void with beauty and inspiration. Even when it's fiction, I find so much beauty in Ted's speech. Most people in their lives hope to find love and be in love with someone special. I cannot deny that I want that in my life, but it's not a priority. I strongly crave that feeling, that sense of yearning and longing. Maybe what I want at this point of my life is more abstract, therefore, it makes it easier for me to cope with my solitude. I know I have the ability to feel those emotions for someone who is out there. I don't know who he is or where he is or when we'll meet. I'll be waiting.

I may be all alone, but I don't feel alone. I'm surrounded by beauty and I know life is worth living.