XXIII

It was kind of my birthday last week, yes, that means I'm another year older. Does that mean I'm a year wiser? I would hope so, because if my looks will end up fading away, I better get a hell of a lot smarter. I can confidently say that I've really come to like the person I am. Admittedly, growing up I wasn't very confident and didn't have much self esteem, especially when I was in elementary school. I was so shy and introverted. But I'm not going to make this post into a sob story, I'm just glad that I'm growing up to be the woman I've always hoped to become. I have so many life goals for myself and if I have an ounce of realism in me, I would know that the chances of me achieving everything on my goal list is nearly impossible. Nevertheless, I am still optimistic that I can be a writer/director and I will be making my own movies in the (near) future. Someday.

I just re-read my birthday post from last year on my old blog. I can't believe a year has come and gone and so much has happened since. I'm actually in New York and sometimes it still baffles me. Sometimes I would be walking in Greenwich Village and I would have to stop and think "where the hell am I?" Yes, yes, I'm in NEW YORK! It's crazy!

This is what I said on 10/24/10: This year has been full of surprises, more so than the previous years I've lived. I think if anything this will just continue to escalate and I'll say that about every year. So this is the last day of my twenty first year of my life. You've brought me a great deal of happiness, sorrow and exasperation and I hope you will continue to surprise me with more unexpected adventures and opportunities. Thank you for everything.

Yes indeed, 2011 has been a year of more surprises and unexpected adventures, I cannot begin to explain. Now that I've been in New York for four months, I am starting to feel more fear than ever. My future seems so uncertain at this point, BUT I do have some plans and ideas on how I will continue to stay in the U.S. I make it sound like I'm from some awful country, but the truth is that Hong Kong is just NOT FOR ME. (Hey! It's worth the visit, don't get me wrong) Without trying to generalize everyone in Hong Kong, but a lot of people in Hong Kong just lack creativity. What drives (most of) them is money and consumerism. If I live and work there, I will become a zombie and an unhappy zombie at that. I know that if I plan the last two months of 2011, I know that I will be able to figure out a plan to stay in New York.

My birthday was spent with one of my dearest friends Caro, who coincidentally was visiting from San Francisco. The timing was perfect, because she was in town for a photo expo and other photo related endeavors. She arrived on the 23rd, just in time for my birthday. We went to Central Park to see the trees, but they weren't red, orange and gold yet. We were met by another lovely friend and fellow RFJ! cohort Marissa! We were both sporting hats, looking all retro and awesome! Thank you so much for the birthday card, gifts from Alice's Tea Cup and birthday cookie! I am so grateful to have you as a friend and I look forward to our New York, tea related and film adventures!

I cannot believe Caro's timing! It was completely coincidental and serendipitous. We should have gone to Serendipity III. Caro, Marissa and I met up at Bethesda Fountain in Central Park. I had seen that fountain in the movies and wanted to see it for myself. The Boathouse is also by the fountain, which reminds me of the scene in Sex and the City, when Carrie and Big fall into the lake (I love my SATC references). We parted ways with Marissa and said a sorrowful goodbye for now, because she is visiting Texas for a while. Can't wait for her to come back! Caro and I made our way to the Angelika Film Center to see Midnight in Paris, because Caro hadn't seen it yet.

I do love Midnight in Paris, because it's the type of fantasy that I've always had. I love the Twenties and I love Paris. Spoiler alert. I love F. Scott Fitzgerald, Picasso, Matisse, Dali. I hope I haven't spoiled too much for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. It's an enjoyable and lighthearted story, but it could be a challenging film if you don't understand the references. We also went to see Drive the next day. It is a very slow movie and it may not be everyone's cup of tea, but there were a great deal of Facebook statuses stating that Drive is the best movie of the year. Well in my opinion, I wouldn't necessarily agree, but I did enjoy the soundtrack, the visual style and credits (just like everyone else). That night, I went to Film #2's wrap party in the Meatpacking District. It was so nice to see everyone in a different environment, but admittedly, I think I prefer a work environment to a bar setting. Gosh, I'm weird. Now... next film please! I need to get moneyz! I think that would be the great present of all, if I can work on a film. Fingers crossed.

On Wednesday, we met up with my friend Jay and he surprised me with cupcakes at Spot on St. Mark's Place. Thank you so much for your kindness and friendship! Vicky also sent me birthday macarons! Thank you so much for the pretty and delicious macarons! I am so thankful to have such incredible friends and people in my life. Here we go, year 23 of my life, what surprises will you have in store for me this time?!

More photos to come (to be scanned).

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the heroic fathers in the world. And to my handsome, always stylish (if I were a guy, I'd dress like him) and ever patient father. I love you.

The Graduate

Congratulations Class of 2011!

I can't believe it's finally over! The last few weeks have been so overwhelming. I stopped blogging for a month now (so awful), since I had so much to do. The weeks leading up to graduation were consumed with thoughts of what dress to wear?! I know, how deep and profound? But I really wanted to pick a great dress to signify the end of an era. I wanted this dress to make a statement. Okay, I know there's only so much a dress can express, but I've been re-watching Project Runway, so I'm all about the clothes right now.

A few months ago, I read a great article by Refinery29 on What to Wear to Graduation. I absolutely needed some guidance and advice on picking a great dress for this ceremonious event. I was instantly mesmerized by the first dress in the article, this dress was picked for The Future CEO. I just fell in love with the color and the pleats. I knew that this was the dress I wanted to wear as a college graduate. But then I told myself, "hey this is the first dress you've seen, take a look around and maybe you'll find another one." So I looked around ASOS and fell in love with other dresses too, but I knew the bright coral tailored dress with pleats was perfect. Did I make the right choice? I know graduation is all about the cap and gown, but I wanted a bright colored dress!

I wasn't expecting much from the graduation ceremony, all I really wanted was to take photos with my friends. The moment leading up to walking on stage and receiving the fake diploma was quite exciting and then the moment died. After the three hour ceremony, we made our way outside, but I couldn't locate my parents. I got through to Shy and we got a few photos together and then I found my parents. It was a huge mess. There were people everywhere and it was noisy and the buses were trying to drive through a sea of chaos. By the time, I found my parents, Shy had left. I was heartbroken. I'm so glad Jonalyn came to the ceremony and we got a photo together. And before Caro left, we took some photobooth photos.

Congratulations graduates, it's finally over and now to the next chapter of our lives. I hope and want to make it to my friends' graduation next year! Now I can only hope to find a job soon and ultimately find a job that can offer me work sponsorship - that is my ultimate challenge.

Friday the 13th

One more week till my college days are over. It's hard to believe that everything is really coming to an end. I remember this time last year when I was saying how I can't believe I only have one year left and now I have one week left. Graduation is in two weeks, so I have to decide what dress I want to wear! I still have to work on some finals, so this weekend I'm going to have to buckle down and whip down my final works. Not only have I been preoccupied by the fact that it's nearly over... I feel slightly lost and empty inside - that's why I haven't been blogging much. Generally, I am excited to leave and start anew in New York City, but I can't help but feel lost... empty... uninspired. What a time to feel uninspired, when I'm about to leave San Francisco? I should be cherishing every moment and capturing them, but I just feel so empty.

I've been falling behind my posts and reading blogs, which is causing this wave of negativity, but I will overcome it, because I have to. I have no choice, these are my final weeks in San Francisco and I'm going to enjoy myself. Today is the 13th, which means this time next month I will be in New York. On Tuesday, I handed in my one month notice. I've been selling my clothes at Crossroads and Buffalo to reduce the amount of stuff to ship cross-country. I have to start packing things and tossing out things, so I don't leave it till last minute. My parents will be visiting and attending the graduation ceremony and then we'll be visiting L.A. for three days. I've never been to L.A., but I'm excited to finally see and experience it. We're going to go on the Universal Studio tour and I've always wanted to see the Hollywood sign. How cliche of me?

I guess it's really starting to hit me. I feel trapped between feeling underwhelmed and overwhelmed. I'm feeling everything and nothing at the same time. What saddens me most is saying goodbye to my friends. Of course I'm going to be sad and I might be a wreck when we say goodbye, but I know that it isn't goodbye forever. Because at the beginning of the week, I had this brilliant idea of visiting San Francisco in July. I've applied to 50+ jobs since early April and I haven't heard back from anyone, I'm still applying to jobs and hopefully by the time I get to New York, I can at least get hired to do freelance jobs, so hopefully I'll get some pay and I'll save up and fly to San Francisco. I know this plan really depends on me finding a job and getting paid, but I am confident that I will get a job from Craigslist. Of course my main goal is to find work sponsorship and I will, but for now, I just need to earn some money. Wish me luck!

Hopefully before the semester ends, I can squeeze in some photo shoots with Caro. Sadly, she's leaving early, which saddens me. I hope we can spend some time together before she leaves! I'm going to miss that girl so much. After graduation, my parents and I are going to L.A. on the 29th and coming back on the 1st and Shy leaves on the 31st, which means I'll be saying goodbye to her before she leaves. I really don't want to think about it, but I can't help it. Once classes are over, I'm going to spend some quality time with my friends! I love you guys so much. Must work on finals, catch up on blogs and return comments!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the loving and wonderful mothers out there. And to my amazing, beautiful, inspiring and always stylish mother. I love you.