(There's Gotta Be) More to Life

When I start to feel like an existential crisis boiling within me, I think of this song. I think there's gotta be more to life... than drama... suffering... struggling... and the hustle. I'm alive and I'm just grateful to be here, to have my physical and mental health and to be a physical form with functioning organs and with a consciousness. I don't want to be a drone. I want to be present and experience life fully.

I started reading Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre. I'm slowly digesting the language and concept behind existentialism and phenomenology. It's quite complex, but I'm glad I'm finally reading about it and by the end of it, I hope to have a better understanding of life and existence. I need to spend more time to educate myself. Life is about appreciating the beauty it has to offer, learning about its wonders, protecting and preserving our planet and humanity and accepting and respecting ourselves and each other. The human condition.

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived

I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside

Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing

And why can't I let it go

There's gotta be more to life

Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me

Cause the more that I'm

Tripping out thinking there must be more to life

Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more

Than wanting more 

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly

Here in this moment, I'm half way out the door

Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

I'm wanting more

I'm always waiting on something other than this 

Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed

When Marnie Was There

"In this world, there's an invisible magic circle. There's an inside and an outside. And I'm outside."

Moving On

Five years ago today.

Just five years ago, we all bid a bittersweet farewell with LOST. It was such a beautifully written show that took me on an emotional journey with incredibly diverse and unique characters. They were all individual in their personalities and they came from different places and somehow ended up on the plane that would crash land on this mysterious island. It was a mystery show, but it was character driven with so much depth. I will never meet another Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Charlie, etc. in my life. The score led me on a visceral experience. There is such a heartbreaking quality to the strings. To this day, I cannot listen to the soundtrack without tears welling in my eyes.

I will always remember where I was when I watched the finale. I even changed my plane ticket, so I could watch the finale in the U.S. It was such an emotional experience for me, because I felt like after all the emotional investment in the characters, I was there on the island with them. I endured their pain and suffering and I was ready for them to have a happy ending. At the end, they were all together. They were safe. They were happy. They were grateful. They moved on. Since the show ended in 2010, have I moved on? I don't think I can ever really invest myself in a drama again. LOST had me and will always have me. It was life changing for me. I am so grateful to be alive.

4 8 15 16 23 42

"We have to go back, Kate. We have to go back!"

April 8th, 2015, 4:23:42 p.m. - Epic LOST Day!

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