Roses are Red, Violets are Blue... F*ck You, Whore.

photographed by: caro ramirez (website | blog | flickr); floral ephemera and valentine ephemera courtesy of pugly pixel

Why are men in movies always hyper idealized and romanticized? I hate to be cynical on the most romantic day of the year, but it really bothers me. It seems like the women in movies are the real bitches when it comes to love and romance. Excuse the language. Maybe it's true that men are more straightforward thinking and women are more fickle and don't know what they want. Well, maybe that's not entirely true. Please note I am generalizing, but I've learned that men are just as fickle, uncertain and confused. I hear guys saying that girls are complicated and confusing, maybe that's true, maybe women are more cautious with their decisions and we're complex, but I've always known. When I know something and want something, I'm decided (with a few exceptions). But in movies, men know exactly what they want and hey according to Justin Long in He's Just Not That Into You: "So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions." and "If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you." and "If a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what." Thanks Justin Long, I finally get it. No wait, Jack Berger in Sex and the City said that first.

I think even in this modern day and age, we still hope that chivalry and romance are still alive. And that Prince Charming is out there to rescue us and then present us with a beautiful diamond ring and then we'd ride into the sunset and live happily ever after! Okay, growing up as a child and watching too much Disney and anime and listening to love songs, I seriously thought I would meet my Prince Charming and fall in love. But now I'm 22 and I feel trapped. A part of me still wants to believe in love, romance and chivalry and the other part of me just doesn't want it at all. The thing is I know that chivalry and romance still exist, I saw it all over people's blogs today and it really warmed my heart. It does give me hope and trust me, I won't stop believing.

I was watching Moulin Rouge and it reminded me how much I want to love someone and be loved in return. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return." I mean I do believe it: Life without love, that's... terrible... Love is like oxygen! Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love! And listening to Your Song and Come What May just makes me want to sing at the top of my lungs.

My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Back to the hyper idealization of men in movies. Back in the summer of 2008, I saw Made of Honor and it really made me realize how unrealistically men are portrayed in romantic comedies. Fine, I get it, romantic comedies are for entertainment, they're feelgood movies for that romantic first date. But seriously, a few months later or maybe two years down the line, that person will rip your heart out and trample all over it. Cough cough. I digress. No I'm not talking about any specific person, I mean relationships and love in general. All, or at least, most romantic comedies have a happy ending, I mean happy endings sell tickets. But at the end of these movies, I seriously feel a great sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction. That's why tonight, I'm going on a romantic date with Shy and Caro to see Blue Valentine. I think any movie about tumultuous relationships makes me more realistic about love every day. I'm not a cynic, I'm just a realist.

Please, please, please don't get me wrong, I'm a huge hopeless romantic. I'm either a realist trapped in the body of an idealist or an idealist trapped inside the body of a realist. Either way, I feel trapped. I think movies like Annie Hall and (500) Days of Summer have made me realize that some relationships are not permanent. Especially when divorce rates are so high in the U.S., the thought of marriage scares me. The concept and sanctity of marriage have been abused, it just seems like getting married seems pointless. I know a lot of girls on the blogosphere are married and trust me, I have so much admiration for you. With all the abuse of marriage, there are still things that remind me that love is beautiful and I am so grateful for that.

Originally, I had plans to do a Valentine's themed photo and video shoot at the Rose Garden at Golden Gate Park, but it started to rain, so this shoot has been postponed. It's going to rain all week! I hope the warm weather returns soon. I hope I don't sound too bitter, I'm just being humorous. Despite everything, I'm really just an optimistic realist. I love love, I just hope love will love me back sometime... soon. Happiness is a choice and I choose happiness, whether I'm in love or not.

To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.

And Happy Valentine's Day! xoxo