Breathe

I promise I'll be back. 2012 is getting interesting.

Shyness - Indiegogo Campaign

"I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life - and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.” ― Georgia O'Keeffe

About Shyness

Shyness is about chance meeting. Everyday we encounter lots of people. We walk by them. We sit next to them, but that doesn't necessarily mean we make eye contact or talk to them. Loneliness is part of the human condition, but we are eager to communicate and better understand our surroundings. What happens when you see someone that makes you want to make eye contact? Striking up a conversation with a complete stranger actually takes guts and courage, it's not as easy as you may think. And the reason we don't have courage is because of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of the unknown.

What if it's your only chance? Do you seize the moment? Or do you let it escape you forever? Chance is that moment when two or more events occur at one time, but if that moment is not seized, that moment becomes nothing. We need those something moments, because those moments can change your life. That single moment can become something permanent. This is what both characters are trying to figure out in their own lives. And this is also something I'm trying to incorporate into my own life. If there's something you want, you should go for it. This is the life philosophy that I want to live by. Shyness is my attempt to really participate in life.

Shyness tells a story of fear and courage. Fear is what stands between you and your dream and courage is what you need to make your dream become a reality. A story about two people who meet is quite ordinary, but a story about chemistry has the potential to be extraordinary. The story is set in the magical, romantic and gritty streets of New York City. Any place can be magical, because we make our experiences and memories. During this chance meeting, the two characters find themselves in the same place at the same time and they share an open dialogue about things that matter and things that don't matter.


The Impact

Shyness is essentially my love letter to life. My appreciation for life has brought me on this adventure, to express my inner thoughts and share them in the form of a (short) film - my very first short film.

"Life is a daring adventure of nothing" as Helen Keller once said. Life should be a daring adventure, which means risks have to be taken. This effort will be one of the riskiest things I will have done thus far. For years, I felt paralyzing and gripping fear of failure, but after writing and investing so much into the story and characters, it is time to conquer fear and go for it. Making this film will be my first step to living a daring and adventurous life.

Shyness is, to me, a life metaphor, an opportunity, my chance to grow, to learn, to change, to create and most of all, to have fun. This is my opportunity to enjoy life and every single emotion at the same time. This journey will be exciting, scary, fun, uncertain and stressful, but I'm ready. My story is about seizing every opportunity, despite your fears, doubts and shyness.

Life will always be an uncertain journey and fear may be a constant, but we can't let our fears stop us from doing the things we want to. This is what I want for myself, for my characters and for you. Drive and passion comes from within. We all have the potential to strive and fight for our goal.

This is my turn to fight for what I believe in and I will not compromise my integrity and morals. I think it's important to have a belief and the drive to pursue, but it is also important to keep our morals intact and not lose our soul in the process, because I kind of love my soul. I want to be ambitious, not competitive. I want to love my passion everyday, because life is too short to hate your passion.


What We Need & What You Get

Directing a film seems like such a wonderful experience. Picture a director's chair. Wait, what director's chair? This is going to be a low budget short film. Filmmaking isn't as glamorous as it seems. It's quite an arduous and exhausting process. I'm sure you've seen all those filmmaking What I Really Do Memes, so you already know. Making a film is a costly endeavor. The money that will be raised via IndieGoGo will go towards the cast and crew, equipment, meals, transportation, gas and parking and post production costs. The goal budget is actually much higher than $4000, but with your generous contribution, I hope to raise more than the proposed goal. Any donation, no small how small, helps!

To express my greatest and sincerest gratitude for your contribution, perks will be included with every donation. There will be postcards, posters, DVDs and tote bags, handmade and designed by me and my friend Inez Galvez.


Other Ways You Can Help

Any amount of support helps, because it gives me more courage and energy to keep going and fighting. Every dollar will help me closer to my goal. If you can't donate, please share this link with your friends and family. Getting the word out there. Let's make some noise! Sing it! Scream it! Please feel free to like my Facebook page, follow me on Twitter and spread the word. Good luck with everyone's endeavors!

Thank you for your attention and support! And a special thank you to IndieGoGo and Vimeo for giving me this platform to help me make my short film.

Email: avalonnehall@gmail.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/shynessfilm
Twitter: http://twitter.com/avalonnehall


http://www.indiegogo.com/Shyness-Short-Film

Try a Little Tenderness

This really makes me weak in the knees.

How to Be a Filmmaker Without Losing Your Soul

my fifth draft of the script, my memoir: volume one (moving onto volume two very soon), my seven year pen, sketchbooks for brainstorming and campaigning ideas, martin luther king, jr. artwork by faith ringgold

How many times have you been told "no, you're not good enough" or "no, you won't make it" or "no, it's impossible"? Everyday we're bombarded with the idea that we can't achieve our goals. No no no no no no no no no. I think we're so negative, because most of us have lost our fire, our drive, our will to fight. I also think that pessimism is the easier option. It takes a lot of courage to be optimistic and hopeful. The truth is we're all scared. We're scared of failure, we're scared of disappointing our loved ones, we're scared of disappointing ourselves, we're scared of eternal sadness and regret. I'm terrified. I am truly terrified and my fear paralyzes me. Then I stop for a moment and I want to slap myself silly, because I remember that some people have it way worse than me. Then I get upset at myself for being so scared, because there are people out there who are homeless, hungry, sick, on their deathbed and I'm whining about how scared I am.

It is unacceptable. This is why I decided to be a writer and director. It's simple enough. Write a script and direct it. What's the hard part? Producing it. Let me rewind back. I genuinely feel anger when I am told "no". It doesn't bother me in a way that I don't think I'm good enough, it just angers me when someone who doesn't even know me tells me I can't do it. I know there needs to be a balance of optimism and being realistic, but if I'm going to be realistic, I might as well just give up now. But is that an option? No. That's a good no. I have been dealing with the internal conflict of balancing optimism and practicality. I have chosen a path that is challenging and competitive, but what career path isn't challenging and competitive? It's a battlefield out there and I'm not just talking about the U.S. I mean the whole world.

I remember when I first knew I wanted to be in film; I knew it was the right choice for myself, because I couldn't picture myself doing anything else. But that was way back when I had no idea what that really entailed. When kids dream of being a director or working in film, they have no idea how stressful and competitive and toxic the industry really is. But now that I've had a taste of it, I still know with more certainty than ever that I absolutely want to do this for the rest of my life. The moment I realized my passion, I was told that I couldn't do it. I remember there was so much doubt about my dream, because it wasn't a "typical" or practical career. There was a lot of negativity and doubt, but I (now) understand where that doubt came from. I understand that doubt comes from fear and the fear is completely rational, because we're all scared of the unknown.

Now I have finally reached a point where I am ready to let go of the fear. Fear is not allowed to stop me from doing what I want to in life, because I deserve a chance. I think everyone deserves a chance to really pursue their dream. It's not fair that some people are more privileged than others. It's not fair that some people get lots of chances and some get none. I think it's all in the state of mind. Drive and passion come from within. We all have the potential to really strive and fight for our goal. I am sick and tired of letting my fear get in the way, because it has been in my way long enough. I am letting go of the fear and doubt and I'm going to put myself out there to be criticized. I'm ready.

To my second point: I want my voice to be heard through my movies. I know that's a lot to ask from a movie by an unknown like me, but I have something to say and I think I have a pretty valid voice and I want people to hear me. I want to say that I want to make movies for both selfless and selfish reasons. Let me explain. I want to tell stories that speak to people and I want my voice to be heard. That's a pretty selfish reason, right? And at the end of the day, the film industry is a business and not just an art form - so movies cost money. But as for selfless reasons, I want to make movies that can help at least one person, to comfort them or to somehow guide them. I hope that doesn't sound pretentious. If it does, let me know and I'll have to re-word that.

I watch movies to feel inspired. Or rather I watch certain movies to get inspiration. I watch sad movies, because I feel more grateful and hopeful at the end. I don't know if other people do that too, but I prefer sad and open endings. I love art, because I love the story behind the art and artist. I just love being inspired to be a better person and I guess that's why I chose a creative path in life. I just know that I have a lot to say and if one day I can be heard - that's all I want. I don't need to be the next Woody Allen (because I will be realistic, I won't ever reach his level), I won't be the next Quentin Tarantino, Michel Gondry, Darren Aronofsky, Sam Mendes, Alexander Payne, etc. But I just want to write stories and make movies that are truthful and honest.

I know I have to fight for what I believe in, because no one else is going to fight my battles. It is a battlefield out there, but I will fight for my dream. However, I absolutely will not compromise my integrity in order to get there first. I have my morals, I am super strict in that department, because I absolutely believe that if I ever lose my soul in the process of it all, I might as well just not try at all. I kind of love my soul. I think that some people can be so consumed with the idea of succeeding first, they end up losing their soul on the way and do some pretty regrettable things. I think that may come from a competitive nature. I am more ambitious than I am competitive. I have friends who also have career goals in film and I am completely supportive toward their goals, because there's lot of room for all of us.

I don't think someone deserves a better chance than someone else. I think we all deserve the same chance to go out there and fight for our dreams. I think soul is such an important part to creating art and unfortunately, some people don't have a soul anymore, because they forgot their original dream. This is why I am writing this, because I refuse to compromise my integrity, I refuse to lose my soul, I refuse to let this competitive industry ruin who I am. I'm not saying that everyone in Hollywood or the film industry have their lost souls, but I'm sure it has affected quite a few people. I want to be in an environment where everyone loves their craft. The film industry is a business, it is a job and when people are so stressed out, they end up resenting their job - just like any job. But I hope that I love my job every day, because life is too short to hate your passion. I know when you're working, time is money, lalala, but I think having fun is also really important, because we're human at the end of the day - we are not robots or zombies.

This also plays a huge factor of retaining your soul. We're human and we have to pay the bills, pay the rent, pay taxes and that means we have to find a job. If we end up working in the creative field, we tend to hope to do what we love, but chances are a lot of people have become jaded by the whole experience. I refuse to become jaded. I hope we can all work together, get the work done and have fun at the same time. I know I may sound overly and naively optimistic, but I think that I can find that balance and I hope other people can too.

I truly wish everyone success in their endeavors, because we all deserve to dream and fight for our beliefs. I believe that I can do this, because I have let go of the fear and inhibitions. I truly want this. To my third point, I am making my first film this Spring and I am truly excited (and yes a little scared, but go away fear). My IndieGoGo Campaign will be up and running by the end of the week. I hope I can interest you in making a donation of any size or just spreading the word would be amazing. Thank you so much.

To conclude, I would like to share Martin Luther King, Jr's famous speech about racial equality and civil rights. Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!

Empire State (Building) of Mind

I finally made my way up to the top of the Empire State Building (on my 7th month in New York). It was an experience to remember. It may seem like such a touristy thing to do, but it is in fact a breathtaking experience. You get to see how majestic and magical New York City truly is. On street level, you see the trash and other unsightly creatures that shall remain unnamed, but the truth is New York City is still a grand and glorious city. It has history. It has class. It is dynamic. It has this inexplicable and enigmatic energy. The moment you move here, you will want to stay here for the rest of your life. New York isn't just the glamorous city you see in Sex and the City and Gossip Girl. It's not just the rich uptown folk, there's the gritty side of New York City and then there's Brooklyn, Queens and let's not neglect to mention The Bronx and Staten Island. This city has so much character. Different boroughs have different energies. Different neighborhoods have different scenes.

I cannot wait to live my dream in New York City. I cannot wait to call this place my home forever. I love you, New York City.