Wishing you all a beautiful 2012. May your wishes come true. Be healthy, be safe, be happy. I'm so thankful for all the memories from 2011 and I look forward to more exciting adventures and opportunities. Work hard, play hard, enjoy life (before the apocalypse ends it all, haha).
Dear Two Thousand and Eleven or Twenty Eleven, It has truly been a memorable year full of excitement, adventures, new experiences, learning experiences, opportunities, meeting people, new discoveries and inspiration and finally, writing my script. I cannot believe a whole year has come and gone and we've reset the year and now it's January 2012. At the end of every year, I like to look back and review the past year in my own life and around the world. I picked up Time: The Year in Review to better remember all the events of 2011.
R.I.P. Steve Jobs, Elizabeth Taylor, Betty Ford, Cy Twombly, Amy Winehouse, Sidney Lumet and other amazing people who made a huge contribution to the world. It's really hard to enjoy life when you hear all the bad things and events that occurred over the year. It's so easy to be self involved, you don't even realize there's a whole world out there and people are suffering and fighting to survive. It's so easy to be complacent, self indulgent and so involved in our own self inflicted stress and depression - it haunts me. I try not to preoccupy myself too much in my own self involvement and indulgence, because I feel a tremendous amount of guilt. Whenever I have a moment to think, I try to be grateful for everything I have and then I think about what's the meaning of life?:
Life starts at birth (well actually it starts at conception and wink wink) and then our parents (hopefully both) nurse and nurture us and we learn and our brains develop. Then we go to kindergarten, then elementary school, then middle school/secondary school, then high school, then sometimes college and then we get a fancy or pretty useless degree, then some go off to do a Masters, maybe even a PhD and then we work. We work, or search for work, keep searching, keep working, earn some money, not enough money, earn some more money, do three part time jobs just to pay the rent, earn more money, pay taxes, not getting paid enough, pay more taxes, wait for money to come back, live, earn money, work, live, maybe meet someone, that person breaks your heart, cry for months, move on, meet someone else, break their heart, cry some more, live, live, work, work, eventually get married to the wrong person but you don't know at that moment, cry some more, work, earn money, pay taxes, earn just enough for retirement, get retired, wait for death. Death.
I'm really trying to understand the meaning of life. 42. That was easy. No, in all seriousness, I constantly think about the meaning of life, especially after I read about the disasters and civil unrest and the ongoing conflicts and wars. There is so much evil in the world and it numbs me. I don't know how to enjoy life without feeling that guilt. But when I read a book or watch a movie or watch television, I feel that momentary bliss and then I forget and just let go. I want to live life to the fullest and I really want to give back. Hopefully, I will build a life for myself and be able to give back and help others in some little way, because it will help me sleep better at night.
Word of the Year:Tergiversate
A panel of editors, lexicographers and others at Dictionary.com have chosen the Word of the Year for 2011. The word is... Tergiversate. Pronounced "ter-JIV-er-sate", it means “to change repeatedly one's attitude or opinions with respect to a cause, subject, etc.; equivocate.
So we could say that, in 2011, the stock market tergiversated; or that the public tergiversated about Occupy Wall Street.
"We're taking a stand on this choice," Jay Schwartz, Dictionary.com's Head of Content told The Huffington Post. "We think that it's immensely rewarding to find existing words that capture a precise experience, and this year, tumult has been the norm rather than the exception. There are contested public spaces around the world, where people are demonstrating in one direction or another. Opinions and circumstances have been oscillating so much.
"This word encompasses an sense of 'flip flopping' but it also implies a number of other complicating forces. Unlike 'flip flop', 'tergiversate' suggests a lack of intentionality - it's a change in state more out of necessity, as new events happen at great speed, whether in the economy, politics or attitudes."
The word's origins come from the Latin for "to turn one's back". Though not in common usage, it was utilized by The Times of London in August to describe the changing attitudes of stock markets.
According to Schwartz, the team considered other words, including "occupy", "austerity", "jobs" (both the noun and the person), "zugzwang" and "insidious".
However, though they may have tergiversated during their discussions, there will be no more tergiversation on the matter. It's Dictionary.com's Word of The Year 2011.
Person of the Year: "The Protester"
No one could have known that when a Tunisian fruit vendor set himself on fire in a public square, it would incite protests that would topple dictators and start a global wave of dissent. In 2011, protesters didn’t just voice their complaints; they changed the world.
Style Icons and Actresses of the Year: Elle Fanning (Super 8, Twixt, We Bought a Zoo), Kirsten Dunst (this was her year, winning the Best Actress Award at Cannes for Melancholia), Emily Browning (Sucker Punch and Sleeping Beauty), Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine, My Week with Marilyn), Carey Mulligan (Drive,Shame, The Great Gatsby), Alexa Chung (as usual) and Rooney Mara (The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo) and Zooey Deschanel (New Girl).
I hope everyone had a lovely 2011 and now get ready for 2012 and the apocalypse. I feel like with the apocalypse looming, it ups the ante for me. I want to really live outside my comfort zone and be more daring and fearless. I don't have too much holding me back, which is a blessing to me. I feel like I'm so much stronger emotionally and I'm ready to take on 2012. I'm ready to fight for my future. I'm ready to really live.
It's official, I just moved into a new place in Williamsburg. Woo! New year, new place! New hopes and dreams.
According to dictionary.com and this Huffington Post article, the word of 2011 is Tergiversate, so I have decided to name my very first and last music mix of 2011 Tergiversate. What does this word even mean? Pronounced "ter-JIV-er-sate", it means “to change repeatedly one's attitude or opinions with respect to a cause, subject, etc.; equivocate.” Additionally, TIME Magazine named The Protester the Person of the Year: No one could have known that when a Tunisian fruit vendor set himself on fire in a public square, it would incite protests that would topple dictators and start a global wave of dissent. In 2011, protesters didn’t just voice their complaints; they changed the world. Read morehere. But I digress. Months ago, I had intended to compile songs for a music mix for every month, but as usual, things happened and I never made a single music mix. I love the idea of making music mixes, there is something so romantic and nostalgic about that. It reminds me of old movies, Avenue Q and The Perks of Being a Wallflower (currently reading, thanks to Marissa). Music always springs a sense of nostalgia. A song can spark up a memory of a certain period of your life. I love that feeling of nostalgia, it makes me slightly sad, but happily reminiscent of that time, which has been forever immortalized by a certain song or singer or band. This year has been a great musical discovery for me and I have to greatly credit and thank Scott Vener, the music supervisor of How To Make It In America (lucky him, what a fun job!).
Most of my new music discoveries are from the show and from there, I discovered new bands and songs. To this day, I still haven't jumped onto the Pandora bandwagon and maybe 2012 will be the year. Also, I must credit my new favorite band Jump Into The Gospel for being so amazing - which has led to my new "groupie" phase of music stalking. The last time I truly music stalked was with my favorite favorite band We Are The Physics back in London in 2007. Since then, I never really fell so deeply in love with a band and their music till September 2011. Thanks to Twitter and other methods which led to my discovery of Jump Into The Gospel. Also, I am totally in love with RAC remixes. Amaze.
# 1. Jump Into The Gospel - Humvee Mansion # 2. Make the Girl Dance - Kill Me # 3. Holy Ghost! - Hold My Breath # 4. M83 - Midnight City # 5. Flight Facilities ft. Giselle - Crave You # 6. Bag Raiders - Shooting Stars # 7. Avan Lava - It's Never Over # 8. Seapony - Dreaming # 9. The Naked and Famous - Young Blood # 10. Capital Cities - Safe and Sound # 11. Foster the People - Call It What You Want # 12. The Knife - Heartbeats # 13. Miike Snow - Cult Logic # 14. Lagy Gaga - Bad Kids # 15. Thieves Like Us - Shyness # 16. Bon Iver - Skinny Love # 17. Local Natives - Airplanes # 18. Beirut - Postcards from Italy # 19. JayMay - Sea Green, See Blue # 20. Florence + The Machine - Between Two Lungs
Bonus Tracks:
Sex Bob-Omb - We Are Sex Bob-Omb Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks Oren Lavie - Her Morning Elegance La Roux - Bulletproof and Colourless Colour
We Are The Physics - Bulimia Sisters Hope you enjoy this mix. This mix of songs means so much to me and they may be a real mixture of songs, but I guess that's the point of a music mix. Those songs signify my 2011 and it wouldn't have been the same without these incredible songs. Goodbye 2011, thanks for all the memories and music adventures!
All I really want for 2012 is a few pretty things, but in all seriousness, I don't mind if I never own these things. I do really want the Penfield Kasson Parka to keep me warm and it's work (i.e. set) appropriate. I also really want the Catcher in the Rye Out of Print iPhone case, because my awesome black matte iPhone case is completely busted after dropping it many times at work. Maybe I want the green Cambridge Satchel Classic satchel too.
But what I truly want for 2012 is to make my short film, which I cannot stress enough and to earn some money, so I can become slightly more financially independent. I also really want to work on this feature film (TBA if I get on it), but I'm waiting to hear back and I'm becoming more anxious by the day. After my short film and all, I hope this will lead to my staying in the U.S. All I can do is hope and be optimistic, because at this point, my future is up in the air and it scares me immensely. I really hope that 2012 will be a successful year, because I need to make it happen for myself. Things aren't just going to fall into my lap, I have to go out there and make it happen.
2012 will be my year. I turn 24 next year, which is my golden birthday and I hope this means I'll have a great year ahead of me and I hope everyone has a beautiful and exciting year too. We just have to keep fighting and hustling for our careers, our dreams, our future, our lives. Enjoy the last few days of 2011 everyone! Take care!
This is me wishing everyone a very happy holiday season from the greatest city in the world: New York City. Well, actually, at this very moment in time, I'm sitting in the only Starbucks in Northern Brooklyn, i.e. Greenpoint. What the hell am I doing in a Starbucks, you may ask. Well, I had every intention of going to El Beit on Bedford, but by the time I got there, they would be closing thirty minutes later, so I decided to come to Starbucks instead.
Two hours have passed and I just started to write this post. In the last two hours, I spoke on the phone to my good guy friend Adam, my Dad and then Adam again. I heard some pretty upsetting news about my grandmother and a family friend. My grandma suffered a serious fall yesterday in Hong Kong and she was rushed in the hospital. It saddens me because if I was there, I think I could have prevented the whole thing. But I'll never know. I just felt so helpless when my dad was telling me over the phone. I hope she recovers soon. There were other disheartening news, but I won't go into further detail. I really don't like to think that 2011 has to end on such a bad note. I really hate to think that any year should begin or end on a bad note, because it's a transitional period and everyone deserves a smooth transition.
2011 was an incredible year for me (with all the ups and severe downs) and I hope it was an incredible year for everyone else too. I always like to reflect back on the past year and see what I've managed to achieve in my life. I also like to reflect back on 2011 in world news and events. I shall do that in the next few days. But for now, I just want to express my sincerest thanks to humanity and life. I've been writing in my memoir and I had written that life is a random opportunity and we should be so grateful for this chance to live it. Life is fleeting and life is fragile and soon we will be gone. So we should seize every opportunity or else there is no meaning whatsoever.
I love life. I love the simplicities and complexities of life. I love that life is such a fascinating and mysterious experience and chance. I want to live life to the fullest. My goal for 2012 is to produce and direct my very first short film. I'm going to quote myself in my movie. I hope my dialogue will inspire at least one person. I want my film to be an open dialogue regarding our social economics and human interaction, I want it to be substantial and thought provoking, but not pretentious by any means. I can see how it may and definitely will alienate some people and/or not interest some at all. But I'm fine with that. This film is for myself and for people who understand what my intentions are and it's my love letter to life.
Thank you world for this amazing opportunity. I am grateful every day that I get to experience another day. This very thought does scare the bejesus out of me, but I am eternally thankful. Thank you to life, my family, my friends, readers out there, for being a constant inspiration, for the encouragement and unconditional love and support. To know that I'm not alone is a beautiful motivation for me to keep going, to keep living, to keep fighting, to keep hustling, never ending. Enjoy the rest of 2011. Please take care, be safe, stay healthy, be happy. Happy Holidays, everyone.
