Boyfriend Criteria or Things I Like That You Could Do to Be My Boyfriend

Thursday, March 3, 2011

boyfriend criteria

Previously (as in a few weeks ago), I mentioned the "perfect guy". Well everyone's definition of the "perfect guy" varies and in my case, my "perfect guy" would have to fulfill several requirements. Inspired by Katie Turner's Boyfriend Criteria, I decided to write my own list of boyfriend requirements as a reminder to myself and to you guys. If you find him, please send him my way. Thanks in advance!

#1. Glasses. I dig guys that wear glasses and really wears glasses like me.
#2. Tea. I'm a huge tea person, drink tea with me... or else.
#3. Tennis. If you don't like tennis, then don't bother at all. If you like tennis, but prefer Nadal over Federer, don't ever talk to me again.
#4. Spicy food and rare beef. If you can't eat either, then just don't...
#5. Dancing. I love musicals and Grease and Dirty Dancing, I want a man who can and loves to dance.
#6. Catdog. I love cats and I love dogs. Can't decide, so he better like both too.
#7. Acoustic guitar. Okay, any guy who can play the acoustic guitar can have my heart, as long as he fulfills the other requirements too.
#8. Bass guitar. Yes, I've always had a thing for bassists (David Desrosiers, Scott Pilgrim), that's why I took up the bass guitar (even though I haven't touched it in years... damn).
#9. Wear bow ties, ties and hats. Chuck Bass, enough said.
#10. Cook. A real man can cook. Seriously.
#11. Travel. If he doesn't like to travel, if he's not spontaneous or adventurous... stay home, don't call me, don't bother at all. It's over.
#12. Woody Allen. Just be him or love him as much as I do.

After examining my specific list of requirements, I am absolutely positive that I will NOT meet this guy, because he does not exist. I have extremely high standards, how can anyone possibly live up to my expectations? I don't know. Everyone has their own standards and I have unachievable standards. Please note: when I say I have "exceptionally high standards", this means I am attracted to a certain man, who is not the conventional handsome good looking type. I am by no means attracted to that kind of man. In fact, I'm rather attracted to the boyish medium looking kind of guy, someone who is not too rugged, handsome, pretty or even cute. When I'm walking on the streets, I try not to make eye contact, but now and then, I will look around to see what the guys look like. I have yet to scout a remotely attractive male in San Francisco. I think my entire time I've been here (since August 2007), I've only scouted at most four or five attractive men - how depressing.

I've realized that most "cute" and "attractive" guys are already taken... so what chance do I have? No chance whatsoever. It's not that I'm looking to be with someone, but it's just a general observation for me - there are no cute guys in San Francisco. When I look at a guy, I look at the whole package *cough*. I scan them from head to toe: 1) hair 2) hair color 3) glasses? 4) smile 5) height 6) build 7) clothes 8) shoes, etc. I don't think I stand a chance or rather, no guy in San Francisco stands a chance. Once again, how depressing?

But for now, I'm happy just being by myself and building myself back. I am an independent woman and I would rather be independent than compromise that if I were in a relationship. I was at Borders and I picked up Why Men Fall Out of Love and read the introduction and the first two chapters hoping to discover something that will enlighten me. Was I enlightened? Well, I'm not entirely sure, because I understand why people fall out of love in general, but why don't people try to resolve the problems? Why do people give up so easily? That's my question.

I suppose I only read the beginning of the book; I suppose there is a more comprehensive explanation and observation towards the end of the book. The book examines and explains the complexity of men and their inability to communicate their emotions, especially when conflicts start to arise in their relationships. Women are more comfortable with expressing their displeasure with their significant other, whereas men just keep it to themselves and stay in the relationship, due to fear of the unknown. Statistically, women initiate a divorce in two out of three marriages. Whereas, men stay in the relationship until the conflicts become too much. I hope I will never initiate a divorce, that said, I hope I will get married in the first place, that said, I hope someone will propose to me in the first place, that said, I hope I will meet someone in the first place. So many that saids.

I guess I thought the book could have offered me a little wisdom and insight into the male psyche and hopefully it will help me in the future if and when I get into a relationship. According to the book, if you're about to begin a relationship with a man, there are three questions to ask before you become emotionally involved. First, what is (or was) his relationship with his mother? Second, what is his definition of masculinity? Third, how does he deal with his failures and setbacks? I wonder if all men just think the same? Do these three questions define all men?

Whatever physical or superficial requirement I have for a potential boyfriend, I think the most important thing is that he, whoever he is, he must have the ability to communicate his thoughts, his dreams, his fears. If a relationship has no communication, then why be in a relationship at all? I guess I can never go into any relationship with anticipation of the future, because life is just so unpredictable. I just hope I will have the chance to be in a relationship with a decent human being, who is strong enough to care about me and himself and the rest of the world.


  1. Communication is key, I agree.

    We could call it love, too, I suppose.

    And I think you can find that person.

    I mean, I am 1-6. So there must be others who possess more than I, that being 1-6 + 7.

    7 has been off-and-on my lucky number, sometimes 13. and 7 is my birth-date.

    I like your list. Do bow-ties count?

  2. Haha what an impressive list! It's a wonder any guy could stand a chance with you, but I'm positive there's someone out there who fits your description who's probably looking for someone like you that fits his own list! Don't be discouraged! Just let life happen, and I know someone will come your way one day. Sometimes we have certain expectations and life doesn't always work out, but sometimes it's for the better :) Plus if he doesn't fit all the things on your list, perhaps it's only because he's missing them from his life, and you can introduce him to Woody Allen and the like!

  3. AND I AGREE WITH YOU ON THE NO GUYS IN SAN FRANCISCO. I think the problem is most of the good-looking guys are gay here...

  4. Saw this and thought of you:

  5. i made a list like this once, during a night shift at work. then i read it over and over and over....and broke up with my boyfriend that weekend.
    and then i decided, like you, that there was no way no how any guy who could possibly match up.
    but there was. and there will be one for you too. be picky: it's ok.

  6. Using these psychological tricks that get your ex boyfriend to want you back is something that should be used in an ethical manner. You don't want to 'trick him' you want to 're-condition him'.how to make him regret losing you